


Fac mihi amans

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Awkwardness, Cruciatus Curse (Harry Potter), Cuckoo titles deal with it, F/M, Jealous Severus Snape, Love Confessions, jily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:21:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28894314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The title is LATIN not English, I know, it’s weird, you lot always think that Chinese people are weird, GET USED TO IT. Anyway, another James and Lily, the last one was a bit dumb, so I decided to do something else. I don’t know, I really like this kind, you know what I mean?
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Kudos: 4





	1. Mirum

**Author's Note:**

> Stick through to da end!

James and his friends, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, also known as the Marauders, could sometimes be seen pranking anyone who was supporting Voldemort and his Death Eaters or anyone who was in general just bigoted or a bad person. Some, like Lily Evans, saw what the Marauders were doing as bullying so when James first asked Lily out, he had been quickly rejected by the muggleborn with red hair and green eyes. James hadn’t lost hope and started to frequently ask Lily out. Each time he was told ‘No’, James acted like he saw it as a challenge, which further annoyed Lily. 

When it was time for their O.W.L. Examinations, James did the error of bullying one Severus Snape, the biggest school rival of the Marauders but also the childhood friend of Lily Evans. Lily quickly came to Severus’ defence and pretty much told James, in front of the whole school, that she hated him. The words hit James really hard and he quickly stopped what he was doing. When Lily went to Severus to make sure he was alright however, Severus insulted her by calling her a ‘Mudblood’. At that moment, the friendship between Lily and Severus was forever broken. James quickly went back to Gryffindor Tower and started thinking back about just how he had acted during the previous five years and he quickly realised that he didn’t like it. He had finally seen that the line between pranking and bullying had become blurred, a lot. 

That summer, Sirius escaped his family home and ran away to the Potters. James learned that Sirius had outright refused to support Voldemort or the pureblood ideas of the Black family and, in a fit of rage, his father had used the Cruciatus Curse on him. When they were woken up in the middle of the night, the Potters took one look at a crying Sirius before they welcomed him with open arms in their home. 

When they came back for their sixth year, everyone at the school saw that James and Sirius had changed. The Marauders were still into pranking but they stopped targeting specific individuals and were now into school-wide harmless pranks. Before, their pranks were focused on humiliating the victim. Now, the pranks had become about having a good laugh for everyone, including its victims. 

James had also grown-up a lot during the last few months and had started taking his studies a lot more seriously. He had completely stopped making advances toward Lily and was even sometimes outright avoiding her. He was still in love with her and James doubted that it would ever go away but he had resigned himself that he had lost his chance with her. James also started helping his friend Remus in his role of prefect and even took over when the young werewolf was in the Hospital Wing recovering from the Full Moon, something which greatly impressed the teachers and Lily herself. However, James would barely speak to her unless it was necessary or related to school work, something that perplexed Lily a lot. 

Unknown to James or really anyone else at the time, Lily had feelings for James early on just like he did for her. That was something that always confused her a lot since she thought that she also saw him as a bully. It was only that year that she started to see the real James Potter, not the one that was constantly pulling an act around Lily in the hope of impressing her. It was also the year where the war started taking a turn for the worse. Lily finally realised during that school year what the Marauders were truly doing. She finally realised that pretty much all of their previous victims were supporters of Voldemort and the Marauders were really bullying the bullies. 

At the end of the year, Lily was pleased to see that James had changed and she didn’t feel uncomfortable having feelings for him anymore. She had even told herself that the next time he would ask her out, she would say yes but since he had barely spoken to her that year she didn’t know if it would happen. She remembered the words she had shouted at him the previous year and realised that James had probably lost hope of ever entering a relationship with her. Lily decided that summer that she would be the one to ask James out, when the opportunity would show up. 

James had been utterly surprised when he learned that he had been made Head Boy. He hadn’t been sure about accepting the position at first since he didn’t consider himself a good role model but finally relented and accepted. Lily was thrilled to learn that James had become Head Boy and that she became Head Girl. 

* * *

Lily hummed as she walked down the dungeon corridor, humming as she did so. 

"Hey! Hey Lily wait up!" 

James Potter, her childhood crush and once sworn enemy rushed to catch up with her, blushing madly. 

"Yes?" Lily raised an eyebrow. Was he going to ask her out again? 

"Do you have a copy of the Advanced Potions book? I seemed to have misplaced it." Lily's heart sank. Of course. 

"Oh, yeah," Lily tried to hide her disappointment. "Yeah it's in my bag" 

"Could I share it with you for the lesson?" James turned even more red at the thought of sitting next to his crush, looking like an embarrassed tomato. 

"Er... ok" 

As they sat down, Lily's heart lept. The seemingly impossible had been acheived. Their potions Proffesor, Slughorn ambled in, booming, "welcome 7th years!" 

A few people winced at his loud tone. 

"Today, we are doing Amortentia! What is Amortentia?".... 

The lesson dragged on and on. It seemed to go on for eternity. Lily fidgeted with her hands, which were hot and sweaty. Snape was glaring at her. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. Lily, _his_ Lily, sitting to his most hated rival. Anger bubbled up inside him. When it came to brewing Amortentia, He stood up and strode over to where his crush sat. Lily jerked her head up and saw him, looking as though he could explode. She shrank down in her seat. Before he could say something, James snapped, "sod off, Snape, she's only sitting next to me so that I could borrow her potions book, its nothing touchy-lovey." Snapes eyes flashed, and he stalked back to his seat, where he kept a close eye on the two. James raised his eyebrows at him. 

"I don't get why he's so bothered, its only for this lesson." James mused. Snape didn't move his eyes from them the whole lesson. The bell rang, signalling the end of the lesson. Lily grabbed her things and rushed out the dungeon. She headed for charms, and because of her rush, she arivved five minutes early, lining up by the door. This first day back was certainly proving to be a strange one. 


	2. amantes usque in sempiternum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily is lonely and asks james out to hogsmeade

Lily flopped onto her bed after the first week back. She hadn’t realised that being head girl was that hard. All week, she had been trying to catch up with her schedule. She sighed. The first Hogsmeade weekend was in a month, and all her friends had dates. They had been bugging her to get a date. She had told them about her crush on James and made them swear on a months detention that would not tell _anyone_. Anyone. After a few minutes pondering, she came to a decision.if james wasn’t going to ask her out, she was going to have to take things into her own hands.

Things came to a head in early October when Lily asked James out on a date to Hogsmeade. James had looked at her like she had pretty much grown a second head. For a few moments, James was seriously thinking that Lily was pranking him. He barely stopped himself from shouting at her that her ‘joke’ wasn’t funny, it was sick. And he meant ‘sick’ as in the wrong way. 

Instead, James asked “A Date? To Hogsmeade? With me?” When Lily nodded, he added “Why? You don’t even like me, you hate me!” The tone of pain and sadness that came with the delivery of that last sentence made Lily realise just how much James had been affected by the words she had shouted to him in a burst of anger. 

She answered “James, I never hated you. I actually like you a lot but I didn’t realise so until last year. I like you but you were always acting like a prat around me and at the time, I saw your pranks as bullying and I hate bullying so my feelings for you heavily confused me. That day, when you took it out on Severus, it made me so angry because here was the boy I liked, bullying my childhood friend. I already had a bad day at that point and I pretty much took it all out on you and said things that I never thought of and for that, I’m sorry. I never realised how much it affected you and I want to apologise.” 

“Don’t. Don’t apologize.” said James. Lily looked down with tears in her eyes. She looked like she was about to burst out crying. At that moment, she thought that James didn’t want to forgive her and felt like she had ruined her chances with him. Seeing the emotions in Lily’s eyes, James lifted her chin up with his right index finger and looked straight into her wet eyes. “Don’t apologize because you have nothing to apologize for. I’m actually grateful, in a way, for you telling me that you hated me. You saying that forced me to look back at how I had been acting ever since we came to Hogwarts and I realised that you had every reason to hate me. I saw how much of a bully I was and I was disgusted. I don’t want you to apologize because had you not told me that, I would probably still not have grown up or it would have taken me a lot more time. I’m just glad to learn that you never hated me in the first place.” he said with a smile. Lily smiled as well. “If your offer for a date is real, and a part of me think that I must be dreaming for thinking it is, then yes, I want to go to Hogsmeade with you.” In a burst of happiness, Lily kissed him on the lips before she realised what she was doing and pulled back, profusely apologising while blushing madly. James only answered by kissing her as well. 

The news that James Potter and Lily Evans had become a couple shocked a lot of people around the school. The most shocked ones were Sirius Black and Severus Snape. Sirius thought that James and Lily were pranking him and had a hard time comprehending how James would even take part in this prank as he knew that Lily’s word were still hurting him. James had to take Sirius aside and tell him how it happened for Sirius to finally realise that it was real. He gave his best wishes to the couple and told James that if they ever got married, he had first-dibs on the role of James’ best-man. 

Severus Snape, however, was angry. Not only was Snape angry that Lily was dating someone that wasn’t him, he was furious that it had to be Potter, of all people! He really couldn’t see how Lily and Potter had become a thing and had cornered her one day after Potions. Lily pretty much told him to bugger off and stop insulting her boyfriend. Lily held no illusions about Snape. She knew that Snape still saw James as the prankster/bully he was before their O.W.L. Exams, that Snape was a supporter of the Death Eaters and that Snape had feelings for her, just like James. Lily knew however that the way James and Snape felt about her were way different. While James felt true love for her and saw her as his equal in their relationship, Snape saw her as a way to make himself feel better. While James would often go out of his way to please her or surprise her, she knew that Snape would expect her to do everything for him. Anyway, Lily never loved Snape that way. She once loved him as the brother she never had but their relationship became strained in their third year and the end of fifth year she had broken it. Him calling her a ‘Mudblood’ had removed the blinds that were hiding most of his flaws from her. 

The day of the Hogsmeade morning dawned with clear and frosty skies. Lily was extremely excited. She had been looking forward to this day for ages, and practically jumped into her clothes. She ran downstairs, eager to start the day. James hadn’t got ready yet, and Lily was jumping from foot to foot. At last, when her boyfriend descended the stairs, a wide big grin spread across his face. 

“C’mon” James beckoned. They went to breakfast, chatting and cracking jokes the whole way down. They rushed through their food, not noticing what they were even eating. When the reached the carriages that took them to the village, they were too excited to notice a gang of Slytherins climb onto a horseless carriage behind them.

* * *

They walked into The Three Broomsticks, holding hands. All the chatter in the bar slowed to a halt, everyone craning their heads to get a good look at the couple, and started gossiping about the sight of them walking into the bar like that. James rolled his eyes and snagged a little table in the corner. Lily sat down as James ordered a Butterbeer and Firewiskey. He paid for the drinks and sat down in front of her. The time passed blissfully, and before long, they were walking up the Main Street, towards honeydukes (‘my treat’ James had said)

Nothing, she thought, could ruin her happiness today.

“Oi, Evans!”

Except this.

Dolohov, Jugson, and two Ravenclaws stood before them, arms folded, sneers set on their faces.

“D’you think that by marrying into a pureblood family, it’ll make you worth more?”

Lily’s hand clenched around her wand. She was about to retort, but James had already strode forward and punched Dolohov in the jaw.

“James!” Lily grabbed his arm and held him back. “Muggle dueling will just get you in trouble,” she hissed.

The Ravenclaw girl sneered. “Can’t even stick up for yourself, can you?”

“I have nothing against you,” Lily said furiously. “Leave us alone.” Still holding James still, trying to ignore the murderous look on his face, she continued up to the street.

“You’ll get what’s coming to you, Mudblood!” Jugson jeered after her. “The Dark Lord is coming!”

Once they had turned round the corner, their honeydukes shopping trip forgotten, Lily sighed, pushing her hair out of her eyes. “The Dark Lord is coming?” she repeated skeptically. “Was that supposed to be intimidating? Honestly.”

James, however, was seething. “He can’t—they can’t talk to you that way! How are you so—so nonchalant about it?”

Lily shrugged. “I’m used to it, I guess.”

This only made him angrier. The expression on his face became darker. “You should _not_ have to be _used_ to this abuse,” he said, wand in hand. “Let me at them—once they’re in Mungo’s, they won’t be able to hurt you.”

“It won’t help,” she said soothingly, her heart aching. “Prejudice only spreads. Clipping one or two buds won’t stop the whole weed. Yesterday we thought only Slytherins were capable of this...hatred. But there are Ravenclaws, too. Stupidity isn’t house-specific, James. There’s nothing you can do.”

“I can become an Auror,” he said, his voice taking on a dark, quiet tone. “I can hunt those-those sons of cavemen before they can really hurt anyone.”

Lily was suprised. “I thought you wanted to be a Quidditch player. You certainly have the skill for it.”

He waved away the compliment, which surprised her even more. “I will become an Auror,” he said, with more conviction.

“I will too, then,” Lily said firmly. “You don’t think you’re doing it without me, do you?”

“I don’t—it’s not safe,” he said weakly, running a hand through his hair. “Let me do this for you, Lily.”

“It’s my war too,” she said indignantly. “If you think I’m not fighting, forget about it. We’re in this together now, James. For better or worse.”

He kissed her then, an unspoken thanks passing between them. Lily for his conviction, and James for her determination. They would not be separated, even in death.

* * *

The next few weeks passed in bliss, and even their head duties were easier once they started working together. Snape, however, on the other hand, was getting madder and madder with each and every day. One day, he sat under a tree, pretending to read his potions book, and scribbling notes in it. In actual fat, he was watching his former best friend and enemy in front of him, snogging each other senseless.

”Get a room!” He suddenly shouted. The Slytherins around him siniggered and patted him the back. James gave him an impish grin. “How about your room?” He yelled back. Lily frowned and put her hand on his arm.

“James,”she scolded lightly.

“ _What_?” James whined. Lily giggled, in a very un-Lily-ish way and let up James and he walked with him back into the castle. Severus decided on avoiding them, which became harder with each and every day. They _always_ were everywhere. They _always_ left 5 minutes before curfew. They _always_ were snogging all over the place. He had never felt such uncomfortable feelings before. All he wanted was to show her that he was an old git, but didn't know how to show her. He knashed his teeth in frustration. How? _how?_ He sighed. _I guess it'll have to wait._


	3. nunquam in perpetuum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just translate the title

Lily did not know at dinner that her evening patrol would end up in madness. Again.  
For now, she ate her pudding in uncharacteristic silence, while the rest of Gryffindor table finished supper in a rather characteristic cheerful and loud manner. Well, most of Gryffindor table did.

James, next to her, was quietly staring at the remains of his meal in the plate in front of him. One arm draped over her shoulder and the other hand casually holding his wand where it sat on the table, he was, for once, motionless.

None of them had slept the night before, and both were still quite shaken from an event that had occurred approximately 20 hours earlier. Not that the rest of the students having a late supper in the Great Hall knew, of course. With the exception of the Marauders and the parties involved, nobody was aware of the fact that a group of seventh year Slytherins had very well tried to kill Lily the night before.

Whether their intent had only been to crucio her or to make an example of the muggleborn Head Girl who was dating a pureblood, the infamous quartet of would-be Death Eaters Avery, Rosier, Mulciber and Nott, second in reputation at Hogwarts to the Marauders only, had nearly driven her to unconsciousness before Sirius Black had shown up.

Lily, blame some trouble sleeping, had been on her way to the Head Students Office on the fifth floor to file point deduction papers, when the Slytherins had caught up to her, sneaking from behind, and attacked her. Sirius, truth be told, had lamented a craving for pie at exactly eleven, and had made a quick run to the Kitchens. He had then made a detour on his way back to Gryffindor tower, and had checked the Map for the purpose of avoiding Filch. Noticing Lily cornered by the enemy, he had run as fast as he could over two flights of stairs and scared the Slytherins off with the help of Peeves and a few hexes.

Sirius had not thought twice about bringing a semi-conscious Lily to the Hospital Wing where Madam Pomfrey had insisted on informing the Headmaster. Sirius in turn had informed his best mate through their two-way mirrors. Judging by how quickly James appeared in the Hospital Wing, Lily would’ve said he Apparated, if she didn’t know any better. He had fussed over his girlfriend (“How much pain are you in? Is there anything I can do? Any illegal substance I could get you to make you feel better?”), demanded the entire story from Sirius, and politely told Madam Pomfrey to shove it when she asked him to leave Lily to rest. When Dumbledore finally showed up and the story was recounted to him, the Headmaster had the heart not to ask what Sirius was doing out of his dormitory past curfew or how he had found Miss Evans. He had also asked them to keep the story to themselves for the time being. James had been furious.  
“But Professor, they could’ve killed Lily if Sirius hadn’t shown up. It’s unacceptable that they shouldn’t be punished for it.”  
“Slytherin should at least lose all their points,” Sirius suggested matter-of-factly.  
But it had been Lily’s feeble voice to answer. “Boys,” she said with a tenderness no one would’ve expected her to use with either of them a year before. “If the people who attacked me truly are working for Voldemort, we cannot waste the opportunity to watch them as closely as we can. Professor Dumbledore should not even consider expelling them, or even punishing them in any way if we don’t want them to think the administration knows they’re up to something.”  
Dumbledore only nodded at her words, and Lily went on. “Let them think we didn’t even report this… incident.”  
“Incident?” Her boyfriend repeated incredulously. “Your near death is an incident, Lil?”  
She shook her head. “Better me than a younger student. Although,” a smirk finally growing on her bruised and exhausted face, “I will dock points from Slytherin for every and any infraction, no matter how small, starting tomorrow. Nobody attacks me from behind and wins the House Cup.”  
That earned a high-five from Sirius.  
“Our Head Girl illustrated the point brilliantly,” Dumbledore said. “The staff will be informed, but I would rather you keep the events of tonight for yourselves. Miss Evans is of course exonerated from classes tomorrow and the day after if Madam Pomfrey says she needs rest, and I trust that James will kindly pass whatever notes from class she may need to stay on track.”  
With a smile at the three students and that subtle command that the Head Boy should not miss classes, he had dismissed himself.

James blamed himself all day long for not being with his girlfriend when those bastards had struck her. Going to class without her knowing she was all alone in the Hospital Wing kind of sucked. He had tried to ditch his third period to visit her, except McGonagall, with an all-knowing frown, had kindly reminded him that her classroom was the other way, Mr Potter. As if she didn’t know why he needed to go see Lily. As if James didn’t already know all about the topic they’d be covering that day.  
Lily had been dismissed from the Hospital Wing in time for supper, and James did not intend on letting her out of his sight – or touch – anytime soon.  
“James, stop,” Lily whispered in his ear when she finished her pudding.  
A terrified expression. “Are you in pain? Does your back hurt again?”  
“Stop fussing. I’m fine. You, on the other hand… you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”  
“Nearly Headless Nick is right there,” he pointed out matter-of-factly.  
“You know what I mean, muggle expression. You need to act normal or people will wonder if something happened and there’ll be rumors starting about in the next hour.”

The Hogwarts gossip mill was a real pain in their asses. As some of the most prominent students, they were frequently mentioned in conspiracies and rumors that made no sense. Everything had become worse after they’d started dating and become somewhat public about it. (Not that Lily had let the Marauders announce it to the entire Great Hall after their successful first date like they’d intended, mind you, but students – and teachers – who paid enough attention could notice them holding hands in the corridors, and most of Gryffindor house had seen them exchange goodnight kisses on the staircase of the boys’ dormitory for the past few months now.) It was no big secret that Potter and Evans were dating, but they still tried to maintain it somewhat quiet to keep the gossip to a minimum. Last month, two fourth year Ravenclaws claimed they had witnessed Lily cry in a bathroom and spread the word that the Head Girl and Boy and fought and probably broken up, neither of which had happened, thank you very much. Lily had received about half a dozen invitations to the next Hogsmeade weekend in the next few hours and James about a dozen more before they even started having suspicions people were talking about them. You had to pay attention to gossip to hear those sorts of things, and Lily certainly did not have the time to talk about people’s lives.

“James, I swear to Godric, they’ll be saying I’m pregnant or something if you don’t put on a smile, eat something and share a joke with Sirius this instant.”  
Startled by the idea of having to fuel down such a rumor, James only replied “Yes ma’am,” before complying.  
The two remaining Marauders had of course been informed, because there were no secrets among them, and Lily’s closest friends Marlene and Mary had simply been told that a Slytherin had hexed her and that she had dealt with him. It had been easy to find an excuse for her absence in bed the previous night (James had been happy to volunteer as the excuse) but harder to explain why he had made it to class and Lily hadn’t.

“Lily, I trust that you are more than able to defend yourself against those cowards, but hear me out when I say I won’t be getting a minute of sleep if I know you’re out there patrolling alone.”  
“James…”  
“Seriously, it’s no use if I stay in the dormitory when all I’ll be thinking about is you anyway—”  
“James—”  
“I will beg you to let me walk with you, if I have to—”  
“James!”  
“Yes, dear?”  
“I was going to say yes two minutes ago before you began your pity speech.”  
“Oh.”  
“Yes. I feel like we could use a romantic walk. We hardly ever have dates that don’t include homework and the library these days. I miss having time to just talk with you.”  
She didn’t let James’s relieved expression stop her. “I miss you.”  
His arms were around her instantly. “I miss you too, love.”  
“Let’s go and just take an hour or two to ourselves. No studying, no Head duties, no talk of Quidditch,” she added with a smile. “I mean we’ll be patrolling on my regular shift so we’re still technically executing Head tasks, but, yeah, let’s try not to catch anyone unless they’re a Slytherin, okay? I just want to enjoy tonight with you.”  
“So we’re not checking broom cupboards for snogging couples?” James asked, eyebrows raised.  
“It’d be pretty hypocrite of us,” Lily said smirking.

* * *

_Dear mum,_

_I may have got myself a boyfreind? It's all over the school, it's really annoying actually. My new boyfriend is called James Potter. Yes THAT James Potter. How are you? Are you alright? And Petunia?_

_Write back soon!_

_Lots of love,_

_Lily_

Lily set down her quill and set down for the owlry. She hummed as she walked, it had been a few months since she and James had got together, and it had been like everything she had imagined. As she entered the owlry, the stench of lots of owls cooped up in one place hit her and she wrinkled her nose in disgust. She coaxed an owl down, and attached the letter to its leg, and it took off into the sunset. Lily gazed up at the different colours of the sky and grinned. She turned and headed towards the portrait of the fat lady, where she would be meeting James for their newly scheduled ‘nightly patrols’.

James grinned as she walked up the corridor, ruffling his hair and making it more messy as usual. Lily’s heart skipped some beats. This night was going to be some night.

* * *

-“I can’t believe you didn’t dock points, Head Girl Evans.”  
“Potter, they were second years and on their way to the Kitchens, I sympathized. And I’m impressed they even know where the Kitchens are, at their tender age.”  
“We knew how to get into the Kitchens our third night at Hogwarts, thank you very much.”  
“I had no doubt, Marauder mine.”  
A placid laugh, some comfortable silence, then: “James?”  
“Yes, Lil?”  
“Do you think we’ll make it out alive?”  
He gave her the only thing he would never deny her. Truth. “I don’t know.”  
“You could,” Lily said with an impossible calm. “If only you didn’t expose yourself as much.”  
They stopped walking. James took her face in his hands and stared at her, so intensely she felt her forehead might burn from it.  
“Do not think for one moment that I am fighting for you, Lily. Your blood status isn’t the reason I fight. I do it because it’s right and I’d still do it if I didn’t know you or if I was married to the very rich, very pureblood Selwyn bird my grandmother recommends. I fight because I won’t be part of a world that claims we are not all the same.”  
He caressed her face. “Oh.” She moved closer to him. It sometimes surprised her how she hadn’t noticed when they were younger just how genuinely good he was.  
“This crusade isn’t your fault. Do you hear me? I want you to know that, Lily,” the last part was barely audible even in the silence of the corridor. “… in case I die. I don’t want you to blame yourself. You’re a big part of why I fight the way I do, to protect you, but I don’t want you to think I’d be sitting on my ass if I didn’t love you.”  
“And this is why I love you,” Lily said at length. “You always speak your mind, no matter how bad it may sound. You always pick your battles, damning the consequences. It means more than you can imagine to hear your truth, James. Which is why I need to return the favor.”  
His hands were stroking her hair.  
“I love you even more for your reasons, and I still wish you didn’t fight. I am doomed anyway because of my birth, but you could be safe.”  
“I don’t want to hear this.”  
“I know. But I had to tell you.”  
“Don’t say this. Don’t say we’re doomed.”  
“I only said I am.”  
“There’s no me without you. I’d rather be dead.”  
“No. Don’t you dare, James Potter.”  
It was hard to tell who reached for who, but they collided in the middle, foreheads bumping, lips touching. Their kiss was raw, desperate. They were still holding each other in a tight embrace, as if they could never let go.  
“I love you,” Lily whispered again between kisses, eliciting a moan from him. “And I don’t want to see you hurt.”  
“We fight together,” James said at last when her mouth had left his in favor of his throat. “We stand together and if necessary we die together.”  
“That’s stupid. There’s no need for you to die.”  
“I don’t like your martyr complex.”  
“I don’t have a martyr co—” Lily’s answer was abruptly cut by James’s hand roaming underneath her uniform skirt.  
Her argument was soon forgotten. Her attention was narrowed down to James. His mouth, his fingers. And no, she didn’t much care that they were in a corridor and supposed to be patrolling. She let him distract and comfort her for a while.

Her mouth was raw on his. There was no time for delicacy, not right now. They could have delicate later, after they were done with her Head duties and once they were in a more comfortable horizontal position. For now, James’s hand performing miracles underneath her skirt, Lily didn’t much care about delicacy.  
Not until she heard someone clear their throat behind them, that is.  
Her eyes flew open and James’s head half-turned to meet their interrupter. He was growling a second later. And as her line of vision cleared and her stead cleared, she was suddenly quite furious herself. James slowly but gently disentangled their embrace and her feet touched the floor. He pointed his hand, deliciously and traitorously slick, to the intruder, probably about to curse.  
But Lily beat him to it. “Out of all the places in this goddamn castle, you had to pick this exact corridor to be lurking tonight, did you, Snape?”  
“You two…” Snape uttered, horrified. He probably didn’t even mean to speak the words out loud. It took him several moments to recoil. Something in the way his eyes flickered between James and Lily, the ghost of a shocked expression on his face, told her he wasn’t thrilled either. Then he snapped back.  
“And out of all the available hidden places in this goddamn castle,” he repeated her words with contempt, “you two had to pick this corridor to engage in your obscene activities for us all to see?”  
“It’s past curfew, Snivellus. No one should be out to see anything,” James intervened somewhat smugly.  
“Shut up, Potter. Just shut up. You fucking arsehole—”  
“Don’t speak to James like that.”  
“Lily, I can’t believe you’re really consorting with this… person.” He bowed his head. “You say I’ve changed. But you didn’t use to be charmed stupid by his tricks. You threw our friendship away to be Potter’s whore—”  
James’s wand was out in a second. “Watch your dirty mouth, Snivellus.”  
But Lily wouldn’t let him fight this fight. It was hers, and James knew it. He was mature enough to understand and accept that; he stepped aside.  
“I didn’t throw our friendship away, Severus. You did that when you started hanging out with the people who want me and my kind dead.” The worst part was that, as much as she would never admit it, it still hurt, deep down. She hated him for that. So she retaliated, just because she could. “And I’d much rather be Potter’s whore than your friend,” she said, aware that she was just being cruel now. “It comes with many benefits.”  
“I still can’t believe you let him-“

“Oh, the sex is certainly one of them,” Lily said with a laugh. “But the first word that comes to mind is respect. Admiration. Love. Cooperation. A willingness to listen. An incredible lack of self-pity and grease.”  
“You’re playing a dangerous game, Lily,” Snape said after a long silence. “As much as I detest Potter, The Dark Lord doesn’t like mudbloods consorting with purebloods. Even blood traitors like this swine.”  
James jumped at that one. “How do you know what Voldemort likes? Oh, right, he’s got his little Death Eaters at Hogwarts to enforce his Nazi agenda now, attacking students and spreading propaganda.”  
“Which reminds me,” Lily burst in. “What are you doing out of bed? Give me a plausible explanation before I dock an embarrassing amount of points.”  
“What I do doesn’t concern you,” Snape said harshly. But they all heard the unspoken ‘anymore’ that hung in the air between them.  
“I’d say it does,” interjected James. “Lily is Head Girl and she has every right to –”  
“Oh, that’s rich coming from you, Potter.”  
“Excuse me?”  
“This is hardly the time to bring up Head privileges. Privileges you seem to be amply abusing.”  
“You of all people want to talk about abuse? So what Lily and I are consensually engaging in ‘obscene activities’ in a deserted corridor? We’re not hurting anyone beside your sorry feelings. Shall I remind you what you and your lot were doing last night?”  
Snape’s voice dropped an octave. “You don’t know what happened last night.”  
“You’re lucky I don’t. If I had been there, you wouldn’t be alive right now. You cast a Cru—”  
“James,” Lily warned. She put both hands on his arm. “You promised you wouldn’t.”  
That stopped James. He swallowed, hard, but did not speak again.  
“Such a tight leash she has on you,” Snape commented with a dark laugh. “Who knew you could be so tame, Potter.”  
“For the last time, Snape,” Lily interjected again. “What were you doing out of bed?”  
He inclined his face, chin pointed towards them. “Maybe I was meeting a bird.”  
James’s laugh filled the corridor. “Yeah, right. Like that’s ever going to happen.”  
“I’m still going to dock those points, you know. Might as well tell the truth.”  
Snape tried to keep his face as unreadable as he could. “I told you.” But Lily had always been good at detecting his lies. James sensed her skepticism and decided to rub it in a little more.  
“Where is this girl? She stood you up, didn’t she? Poor Snivellus.”  
A cruel smile appeared on Lily’s face. “Who were you really meeting? I won’t ask again.”  
“Will you and your idiotic boytoy leave me alone?”  
“Leave you alone? You quite literally interrupted our foreplay!”  
Snape didn’t seem to like being reminded that particular bit of information, and he seemed to go pale once more.  
“Fifty points from Slytherin,” Lily declared after a moment of silence, when it was clear her former friend wasn’t going to confess.  
“Fifty? I knew Potter brainwashed you, but are you out of your mudblood

up mind?”  
“You were out of bed after curfew, refused to tell me why, used foul language and insulted not one but two of your superiors. And,” she added, her voice dropping low, “You called me a mudblood.”  
That alone earned a death glare from James that Lily did not pay any attention to. “And honestly, I’d dock points from you just for being the shady being you are.”  
In Snape’s defense, he had regained as much cool as could be expected. “Funny,” he hissed. “I see Lily Evans but I hear Sirius Black.”  
“I’ll take that as a compliment. And if you’re not leaving, we will.”  
Lily looked at her boyfriend, and with a conspiratorial look only said, firmly, “James?”  
The Head Boy scooted down, as if to pick something off the floor. In the dark of the corridor, it was impossible for Snape to tell what it was. Until James handed it to Lily, that is.  
“My love,” he simply responded, and his eyes shone like he had forgotten Snape was ever there. She picked the item from his hand, the soft fabric cold against her fingers, and led James down the corridor.  
And Snape wished more than anything else, even more than wishing he could unsee the previous minutes, erase the fight from his memories, he wished that Lily would tilt her head back a bit, even send a curse his way. She didn’t. And neither did Potter, one hand in his stupid hair and one on her waist as he brought the hand that was holding her underwear to his mouth and kissed her small palm gently.

They stopped after one flight of stairs, once they were sure Snape wasn’t following them and could not hear them. James was looking at her as if he had never seen her before.  
“Disappointed that I’m not a saint?” she asked. A tinge of bitterness could be heard, and she did not care. “I never said I was nice.”  
“I never said I was disappointed.”  
Smoother and faster than she expected, James spun her around so that she was facing him directly. He did not let go.  
“On the contrary,” James continued in with velvet voice. “I love it when you stand up for yourself. Even though every inch of me is aching to intervene.”  
Lily kissed him once and chuckled. “Who knew chivalry could allow such a thing?”  
“What can I say, I am a sucker for empowered women. Especially this one.” His lips met hers, traitorously slow. “What do you think, enough patrolling for one night?”  
“Let’s get to bed and forget all about this.”  
“Your wish is my command, milady.” He said this and unceremoniously swept her off her feet, and kept walking, despite her laughter and weak protests.  
“James! Let me down!”  
“Well, my love, I can’t make it look like chivalry is completely dead, now, can I?”


End file.
